Jokes - Glume, Bancuri, Humor (2)

- Setul doi, inca 10 glume cu redare audio si traducere.

Jokes - MP3 Player

Trains Are Always Late

Audio Joke 11 MP3

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.
- What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The railroad engineer replied:
- How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

Trenurile mereu intarzie
Un barbat se plangea catre un inginer de cale ferata.
- La ce foloseste sa ai un program al trenurilor daca trenurile mereu intarzie?
Inginerul de cale ferata a raspuns:
- Cum putem sa stim ca au intarziat, daca nu avem un program?

Which part?

Audio banc 12

- I was born in California.
- Which part?
- All of me.

Care parte?
- M-am nascut in California.
- Care parte?
- Intreg eu. (Toate partile mele)

Excuse me

Gluma MP3 13

- Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
- No, I'm sorry I don't.
- Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left.

Scuzati-ma
- Scuzati-ma. Cunoasteti drumul spre zoo?
- Nu, Imi pare rau, nu cunosc.
- Pai, e doua blocuri pe drumul acesta, apoi un bloc la stanga.

Kangaroo jump

Joke 14

- Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
- Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Saritura cangurului
- Poate un cangur sa sara mai sus decat Empire State Building?
- Da, fiindca Empire State Building nu poate sa sara!

Litera "I"

Humor 15

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I".
Student: I is the ...
Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Litera I
In clasa profesorul cere unui elev sa faca ceva.
Profesor: Spune-mi o propozitie care incepe cu "I" (Eu).
Elev: I este ...
Profesor: Stop! Sa nu pui niciodata "este" dupa "Eu"'. Mereu sa pui "sunt" dupa "Eu".
Elev: Bine. Eu sunt a noua litera din alfabet.

I'm pretty

Gluma audio 16

- John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
- I think you are pretty ugly.

Eu sunt dragut /a
- John spune ca sunt dragut /a. Andy spune ca sunt urat /a. Tu ce crezi, Peter?
- Eu cred ca esti destul de urat /a.

Will I be able to play the piano

Banc 17

- Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
- Yes, of course.
- Great. I never could before.

Voi putea sa cant la pian
- Doctore, voi putea sa cant la pian dupa operatie?
- Da, desigur.
- Grozav. Niciodata nu am putut inainte.

Tenses

Audio Joke 18

The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
The student says: Obviously it's the past tense.

Timpuri (gramaticale)
Profesoara spune: Astazi vorbim despre timpuri. Acum, daca eu spun "Eu sunt frumoasa", la ce timp este?
Elevul spune: Evident, e timpul trecut.

Workers

Gluma MP3 19

Two factory workers are talking:
The woman says: I can make the boss give me the day off.
The man replies: And how would you do that?
The woman says: Just wait and see.
She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies: I'm a light bulb.
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off".
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.

Muncitori
Doi muncitori din fabrica vorbesc:
Femeia spune: Pot sa-l fac pe sef sa-mi dea ziua libera.
Barbatul raspunde: Si cum ai sa faci asta?
Femeia spune: Asteapta doar si vezi.
Apoi ea se atarna cu capu-n jos de tavan.
Seful vine si spune "Ce faci?"
Femeia spune: Sunt un bec de lumina.
Apoi seful spune, "Ai muncit asa mult incat ai inebunit. Cred ca ai nevoie sa-ti iei ziua libera".
Barbatul incepe sa mearga dupa ea si seful spune, "Unde pleci?"
Barbatul spune: Plec acasa, nu pot lucra pe intuneric.

Baby brother

MP3 Joke 20

Two children are talking:
- Meet my new born brother.
- Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
- I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

Fratele copil
Doi copii vorbesc:
- Fa cunostinta cu fratele meu nou-nascut.
- O, este asa de chipes! Care-i numele lui?
- Nu stiu. Nu inteleg nimic din ce spune.

Jokes - Glume, Bancuri, ..->>

Un Test simplu in fiecare zi

HTML

CSS

JavaScript

PHP-MySQL

Engleza

Spaniola

Care tag se foloseste in <table> pentru a crea celula de tip "header"?

<table><tr>
  <th>Title 1</th>
  <th>Title 2</th>
</tr></table>

Ce proprietate CSS seteaza distanta dintre randuri?

line-height word-spacing margin

.some_class {
  line-height: 150%;
}

Care functie deschide o noua fereastra.

alert() confirm() open()

document.getElementById("id_button").onclick = function(){
  window.open("http://coursesweb.net/");
}

Indicati functia PHP care returneaza un array cu numele fisierelor si directoarelor dintr-un director.

mkdir() scandir() readdir()

$ar_dir = scandir("dir_name");
var_export($ar_dir);

Care din urmatoarele forme a verbului "sleep" (a dormi) se foloseste pentru viitor?

sleeping slept will sleep

He will sleep there.
- El va dormi acolo.

Care din urmatoarele forme a verbului "dormir" (a dormi) se foloseste pentru viitor?

dormido dormirá durmiendo

Él dormirá allí.
- El va dormi acolo.

Jokes - Glume, Bancuri, Humor (2)

Curs Engleza

Trains Are Always Late

Trenurile mereu intarzie

Which part?

Care parte?

Excuse me

Scuzati-ma

Kangaroo jump

Saritura cangurului

Litera "I"

Litera I

I'm pretty

Eu sunt dragut /a

Will I be able to play the piano

Voi putea sa cant la pian

Tenses

Timpuri (gramaticale)

Workers

Muncitori